HELL CREEK BEDS, MONTANA
Fossils discovered in an archeological dig here on Wednesday show that human beings played emotional games with each other much earlier than scientists previously thought, said Dr. David Smith, lead researcher at the site.
"This is the earliest sample we have of opposite-sexed hominids indicating a standoff over not calling the other as a point of personal pride," Dr. Smith said. "We've also found early cave texts in which it's apparent that one female in a particular family group is trying to make another one jealous over weight loss."
Dr. Smith and his team plan to publish their findings in next month's issue of "Paleontology."
"Everyone always says, 'I don't play games in my friendships or relationships,'" said Sally Jones, the study's coauthor. "What this discovery does is confirm what we've long hypothesized: that this is total bullshit, and humans have been playing emotionally manipulative games with each other since before they could walk fully upright."