The Alt-Bright: Traveling to the sun, burning to a cinder.
The Alt-Sprite: Flat 7-Up.
The Alt-White: Richard Spencer.
The Alt-Kite: A hot air balloon.
The Alt-Blight: Crickets.
The Alt-Tights: Spanx.
The Alt-Night: Morning.
The Alt-Mite: Bedbugs.
The Alt-Crystal Lite: Gatorade.
The Alt-Copyright: Plagiarism.
The Alt-Light: Pitch black darkness.
The Alt-Polite: Screaming "FUCK YOU!" as a salutation.
The Alt-Invite: Telling someone to come to a party out of a sense of obligation when you know they're going to be out of town.
The Alt-Extradite: Deporting people, then realizing you have no one left to water your golf course and re-porting then.
The Alt-Sight: Blindness.
The Alt-Flight: A Rickshaw.
The Alt-Turkish Delight: Gummy Bears.
The Alt-Tripartite: New system of American government where only one person controls everything.
The Alt-Satellite: Please, any other fucking song off that Dave Matthews album.
The Alt-Egg White: Egg Beaters (TM) in a carton.
The only disagreement here is the sparkling ice is the alt crystal light not Gatorade! Gatorade is a very useful elixir for hangovers or other stomach bug.
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