Monday, April 25, 2016

Concept of Fidelity in Marriage Officially Dies with Rumors of Jay Z Cheating on Beyoncé

Today the last nail in the coffin of marital fidelity was firmly hammered down amid rumors that Jay Z cheated on Beyoncé. We repeat: Cheated. On. Beyoncé.

Although these rumors have been long-churning, they were given new life this weekend with the release of the superstar's cinematic and musical tour de force, Lemonade, which is already being hailed as a ground-breaking piece of art and cultural commentary.

But where does this leave the sin of adultery? In short: adultery has won and marital fidelity has officially lost.

One biblical scholar O.H.M. contacted agreed to speak to us on the condition of anonymity, for fear that admitting that adultery has finally carried the day after thousands of years of human history would be highly controversial in academic and theological circles.

"If a man can't keep it in his pants for 
Beyoncé, then there is literally zero hope for fidelity in marriage anywhere," the scholar told us. "I mean, who I ask you--man, woman, or inbetween--would cheat on Beyoncé?" the scholar continued. "Either hypothetically OR in real life? She's fucking Beyoncé for fuck's sake!"

We couldn't agree more.

R.I.P. Marital Fidelity: 1,400 BC - April 25, 2016.

A Timeline of the Neverending Jay Z and Beyoncé Cheating and Divorce Rumors
Photo: Jezebel

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