Readers might recall the day several weeks ago when Isaac was named Valedictorian of the School of Hard Knocks after he lost at Candyland. As the attached photo shows, not since Bill Buckner of the '86 Red Sox has the agony of defeat been so acute. I promised a rematch, and tonight I made good on that promise.
But I decided to stack the deck this time. I couldn't bear to see him lose again, but more to the point, I couldn't bear to keep playing until he won. Because playing Candyland is more boring than working in the Charms factory and shoving sticks into actual lollipops for 12 hours a day.
My secret ace-in-the-hole was Queen Frostine. That basic bitch was my ticket to ride. And damned if I didn't shuffle the deck until I put her skank ass right on top just in time for Isaac's next turn. Queen Frostine instantly sends the player who selects her nearly to the end of the board. My joy in seeing the look on Isaac's face when he picked her off the card pile was tempered only by my guilt at having rigged the whole thing mainly to get out of playing Candyland for another minute. But we both quit that game happy, and that's what counts, right?