Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Spoil Sport

I played sports in high school and college and they were a big part of my life, but I have zero interest in playing team sports as an adult. Plenty of people I know and love play organized intramural sports like soccer, hockey, and softball. But that shit is is not for me, and here are the top three reasons why:

1. I'm "over-committed": most of the games and practices for adult league sports are on evenings and weekends when I have a standing appointment with my pajamas, the Apple TV remote, and a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios.

2. I'm old: I've already had two different orthopedic injuries this year alone, and I'm running out of insurance coverage and patience. Although I must say, having a physical therapist focus exclusively on your injury for an hour is the best thing ever. It almost makes me want to give myself whiplash just so I can get more PT.

3. Adults behaving badly: I should actually have put this as the number one reason I refuse to play adult organized sports, because it is. No matter how many times I hear: "it's not competitive!" or "it's just for fun!" or "this team isn't like that!" I'll never believe that shit for one second. That's because for many people (granted not all, but most) it's not just for fun, and it's totally competitive. All it takes is one person to create a vibe that's all about proving you're NOT old and lazy (see numbers 1 and 2 above) or at least not AS old and lazy as everyone else. Nope. I encounter enough hostile adults behaving like children in my day-to-day life that I'm disinclined to pursue that dynamic in my free time. I'm perfectly content to park my old, lazy ass on the bleachers and just watch everyone else scowl and push each other around instead. Also, Isaac's aunt and uncle sent him this awesome toy for his birthday that I plan to use for the exact same purpose in the comfort of my own home.

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