Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Alaskans Hire Team of Burly Dudes With Jackhammers to Prompt Elected Officials Into Action

If you're downtown in Alaska's capital city of Juneau, you may have noticed a very loud, continuous racket on this, the 91st day of a 90-day legislative session. You might think that the Capitol Building is under construction, but O.H.M. has the exclusive scoop that there's actually an ulterior motive for the "work" currently being performed on the Capitol's historic brick and marble facade.

According to a report in the Alaska Dispatch:
The Alaska Legislature made little headway Monday on its deficit reduction plan after missing its Sunday adjournment deadline, while a House Republican leader introduced an entirely new bill to eliminate state workers' annual and biennial pay increases that a Democratic colleague said could actually set negotiations backward.
In response, a loose but unified consortium of Alaskans from Ketchikan in Southeast all the way up to Barrow in the far north have decided there's only one thing left to do: take to Kickstarter and retain a team of brawny, strong dudes (local hires, of course) with jackhammers to annoy the Legislature to the point of insanity such that its members finally decide to pass a budget (among other things) and go home. 

"This really is a last resort for us," said Tim Jones, an office manager affiliated with the effort who works on the Kenai Peninsula and just wants something--anything--to happen in Juneau already. 

"Our hope is that the sound of 130 decibels of metal-on-concrete hammer blows, combined with the explosive air exhaust of approximately one dozen pneumatic jackhammers operating directly under legislators' office windows for 12 out of 24 hours a day will finally do what testimony, emails, letters, phone calls, and other traditional and generally quieter forms of public appeal could not."

Neither the foreman of the jackhammer crew nor a single one of the state's 60 legislators could be reached for comment. Not because they refused to comment, but because they couldn't hear our questions.

No comments:

Post a Comment