Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Piers Morgan Found in a Closet Looking Like that Becky Named Katie from The Ring After Watching Trailer for Beyoncé's "Lemonade"


This was the stern warning that should have been heeded by Piers Morgan, the ruddy-faced British tabloid journalist who has famously and infuriatingly mansplained and whitesplained everything from Susan Sarandon's titties to Beyoncé's Blackness in the interest of provoking public outrage sufficient to retain his own relevance.

Piers Morgan has not been seen since the release of Beyoncé's visual album Lemonade last Saturday night, until this morning when he was found in a closet in his Los Angeles home by a gardener looking like that Becky named Katie from The Ring:

It is thought that Mr. Morgan suffered a fate similar to the supporting character from the 2002 psychological thriller, in which seriously bad shit happens to you within seven days after watching a short, creepy video.

Similarly, when old, white, boring AF dudes watch the gender and race-empowering imagery delivered by Queen Bey in the four-minute long Lemonade trailer, urban legend has it that they can't deal with it on any level, and end up looking like this.

Bill O'Reilly, Stephen Colbert, and Mike Huckabee: You've been warned.

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