Sunday, March 29, 2020

We Didn't Start the Rona (Billy Joel Parody)

Bats and lizards, 14-Days, Wuhan China, Chest X-Ray
Ventilators, Teleworking, Andrew Cuomo
Trump Twitter, Tony Fauci, Eating cookies on your couchie
North Korea, South Korea, streaming those shows

Coughing, fever, pounding heart
Can you stay six feet apart
Silkwood shower, wash your paws, human boogers are the cause
There is not a vaccine, you will have to quarantine
Viral truthers, CDC, Boris Johnson Goodbye!

We didn't start the Rona
It’s been replicating
And it’s devastating
We didn't start the Rona
We don’t understand it
And we didn’t plan it

Idris Elba, Tom Hanks, Steph Curry, crashing banks
Laid-off workers, unemployment, plummeting stock
Toilet paper, panic-buying, zombie preppers testifying
Hashtag Flatten The Curve, Trump is a cock.

Pandemic, hunker down, health care workers, ghost town
Zoom meetings, PPE, social distance is the key
Health insurance, business loans, cancellations, hot zones
Prince Charles, "Tiger King", trouble with math.

We didn't start the Rona
It was circulating
While we’ve been debating
We didn't start the Rona
It was zoonotic
And it’s been chaotic

Drive through testing, symptomatic, socialism, democratic
Home school, soap and water, it could be your son or daughter
NYC, alcohol, there will be no baseball
Broke, bored, stuck inside, sibling fighting multiplied

Online classes, NPR, Mike Pence, shuttered bars
Italy, death tolls, travel is a no-go
Face masks, sterile gloves, masturbation self-love
New York Times, CNN, Fox n’ Friends is on again

We didn't start the Rona
It’s a bad contagion
You should not engage in
We didn't start the Rona
It is pretty frightening
But we’re out here fighting

Reagents, testing swabs, Huckabee’s corn-cob
Podcasting, Instagram, No one really gives a damn
MAGA wingnuts in denial, Libtard leftists on the pile
NBA, NHL, concerts, churches gone to hell
Vatican, bouncing checks, doggie style corona sex
RNA, DNA, what else do I have to say

We didn't start the Rona
It was always spreading
Cellular imbedding
We didn't start the Rona
It is inconvenient
But we can’t be lenient

Mental health for the win, when can we go out again
Not by Easter, Fake News, inside-trading, drinking booze
Stay indoors, cut your hair, no Pilates, it ain’t fair.
YouTube, ICU, our President is huffing glue
Frozen pizza, microwaves, trying not to hibernate,
Netflix, making memes, shelter-in place.
These talking heads are a bore, China’s under martial law
Alex Jones, info wars, I can't take it anymore

We didn't start the Rona
It’s a novel virus
Just like Miley Cyrus
We didn't start the Rona
But when we’re gone
Will it still go on, and on, and on, and on

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