Sunday, December 9, 2018

Permission to Scroll?

It's like "Permission to Engage" in the military. These are the three simple words that you need to ask before anyone hands you their phone to look at a particular picture. Folks of older generations, especially, are prone to the misconception that "here look at this photo of a barfing Jack-O-Lantern hahahahaha" is broad consent to begin scrolling with abandon through another person's camera roll until you randomly get to "27 year-old's rock hard abs and baby arm dick."

Like in this day and age, you can never be too careful. You could have a photo of "Individual-1" (a.k.a. single thick black cleavage hair") and its "Un-indicted Co-Conspirator" nipple hairs. You could have a picture of an ingrown toenail. Or your kid's tonsils or something. You really need to know AHEAD of time, before a bell is rung that can't be un-rung.

It all comes down to consent and permission. Like the Venn diagram of people who get "Me-Too'd" and people who scroll through people's camera rolls is one giant black circle. If a person lets you kiss them, that doesn't mean you automatically get to bang them. And if a person hands you their phone open to a photo of their toddler playing in the sand on Cape Cod, that doesn't mean you get to do a tour through the rest of their . . . um . . . MATERIAL.

So for fuck's sake. Next time you find yourself with another person's phone in your hands, remember those three little words: "Permission to Scroll."

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