Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Truth in Advertising

You gotta hand it to Alaska's premier cable and internet monopoly, GCI. I was in their store yesterday, waiting my customary thirty minutes to conduct a three second transaction, when I saw this:

The advertising exec that let this gem of a cardboard snowflake flutter down from the telecommunications industry sky--be they in Anchorage, Seattle, or on Madison Avenue--has some serious 'splainin' to do. 

The NEW broadband service NOW has no surprise fees? The obvious logical corollary to this is that the OLD broadband actually HAD surprise fees. So basically, GCI is fully admitting that its prior service "surprised" customers with fees, and what makes the new service "new" is that GCI will no longer take its customers to a monthly surprise party with its billing statement.

This is like having someone dump you for being an asshole and then saying, "Hey, let's get back together! Now I won't be an asshole anymore!" Why should we trust you now, GCI? You and your sister telecommunications companies already sell people AIR for the price of a car payment! Maybe because you're being contrite and honest? Points for that, I guess.

Meanwhile, right after I was done spending half an hour in the GCI store buying a $25 firewire, I went to the coffee shop/cafe down the street for my customary over-priced vanilla soy latte. They were advertising--and I shit you not--the "quinoa of the day."

This reminded me of the creme brulee du jour, detailed in O.H.M.'s prior post, Slideshow of Your Entree's Life (Yes, I literally just figured out how to add links to my blog posts this minute. I am amazingly inept at some things).

Quinoa is now ubiquitous enough to have a "day" assigned to it?! Like there is sufficient demand for different variations on quinoa to have seven different versions of quinoa, one for every day of the week?!

If it hasn't happened yet, this might be the moment when the world will look back and say that quinoa has officially jumped the shark. See also, Jumping the Shark.

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