Sunday, March 1, 2015

Rating Systems

A friend recently sent me this photo from the SEA/TAC airport, where there's a new system in place for rating the cleanliness of public bathrooms based on emoticons:


























Apparently, you can cast your vote on a scale of "would eat soup off the floor" to "Slumdog Millionaire" by pushing four little smiley and frownie face buttons, all of which are likely crawling with fecal coliform bacteria from the steady stream of people who have been shitting and voting immediately afterwards. 

But democracy and the Fifteenth Amendment are alive and well, at least at the SEA/TAC airport public restrooms!


I gotta say though: there's not really enough information on this touch screen unit to cast an informed ballot. Simply asking voters to rate general "cleanliness" doesn't really solicit enough information to accurately poll the electorate. 

No, there should be more specific questions on here for more targeted feedback. The size of this voting unit/ballot should be expanded considerably to seek answers to the following:

Stray Pube Count: How do you rate on a scale of "full Brazillian" to "Amazon jungle?" Select from one of the following:



Bio-hazardous/hazardous Materials Present: How do you rate on a scale of "Haz Mat respirator" to "Ebola colony?" Please select from the following:



Garbage Cans: How do you rate on scale of "street in Singapore" to "third rail of the 4/5/6 train at Grand Central Station?" Touch this photo if closer to Grand Central:


We as a democracy can't be fully assured of our freedoms and liberties until the SEA/TAC bathroom voting stations are improved in this manner.


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