Friday, March 2, 2018

By Request: An Oompa Loompa Song for Hope Hicks' Departure from Trumplandia

Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you get when you lie for your boss?
Even when you are hot like Kate Moss?
What do you know, at a mere 29?
Mueller will force you to sing or do time!

Oompa loompa doompety da
If you're not greedy, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do

Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompeda dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

Lying is fine when it's once in a while
It means you have cunning, ambition, and guile
But it is repulsive, revolting and wrong
Lying and lying all day long
The way that Sarah Sanders does!

Oompa loompa doompety da
Given good judgment you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do

Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

Who do you blame when your boyfriend's a thug?
Arrested for beating his wife with a jug
Blaming the press is a lie and a shame
You know exactly who's to blame
Rob Porter and Rob Porter!

Oompa loompa doompety da
If you take a plea bargain you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do

Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompeda dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you get when you steam Donald’s suit?
A sleazy old man telling you that you’re cute
It's smart that you've quit while you still are ahead
I hope that he never got you in bed!




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