Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Oh Look KKKeebler Elf Jeff Bong Sessions is Lying About Weed! Please Hang Up and Try Your Call Again

MYTH: Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ goal for 2018 is to see a further decline in prescriptions of opioids.

FACT: Jeff Sessions’ goal for 2018 is to keep Trump from screaming YOU’RE FIRED at him and put more brown people in jail for smoking weed.

MYTH: Jeff Sessions “thinks a lot of this is starting with marijuana and other drugs.”

FACT: Jeff Sessions knows full well that precisely NONE of “this” is starting with anything but Big Pharma’s corporate donations to Congressional campaigns and that the "gateway drug" myth is scientifically-proven unmitigated bullshit.

MYTH: Jeff Sessions cares deeply about public health.

FACT: Jeff Sessions could not give less of a shit about your health or anyone else’s and couldn't identify THC at a Grateful Dead concert.

MYTH: Marijuana is more dangerous than alcohol.

FACT: Alcohol is approximately 12 gazillion times more dangerous than marijuana.

MYTH: More than 37,000 annual deaths in the United States are attributed to marijuana use alone, not including accidental deaths.

FACT: Wait wait never mind lol jk that would be alcohol.

MYTH: Marijuana now kills more people than breast cancer.

FACT: Wait wait never mind lol jk that would be opioids.

MYTH: Marijuana is part of an organized corporate effort and conspiracy on par with Big Tobacco to lie to doctors, create drug addicts, and make as much money as possible as quickly as possible, no matter how many American lives and communities are destroyed in the process.

FACT: Wait wait never mind lol jk that would be opioids.

MYTH: Congress takes literal blood money from Big Marijuana.

FACT: Wait wait never mind lol jk Big Pharma is a better drug dealer than Pablo Escobar

MYTH: Jeff Sessions is a well-meaning public servant.

FACT: Wait wait never mind lol jk he’s an unrepentant racist and cracking down on legal weed is a way to incarcerate as many brown people as possible, as quickly as possible.

MYTH: Every day, more than 115 Americans die after overdosing on marijuana

FACT: Wait wait never mind lol jk that would be opioids.

MYTH: Jeff Sessions is a states’ rights conservative.

FACT: Jeff Sessions is a states’ rights conservative except when it comes to weed. That state right can go fuck itself six ways to Tuesday because brown people and hippies.




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