Wednesday, August 2, 2017

The Muffin Top is Having a Moment and I am 100% Here for It!


Today I learned from the NY Post that "boobs are back in a big way." But you'll never guess what OTHER female body part is "having a moment" this summer. 

HINT: I already have one, and I took a selfie of it below. Also, it's named after a breakfast pastry that comes in lemon poppyseed, blueberry, and corn flavors among others.

That's right LADEEEEEEZ. It's the muffin top and IT. IS. POPPING. OFF. IN 2017, fam!!!

How do I know this? Well, in point of fact I don't. I just made it up. I'm following in the tradition of our president and just saying shit that I wish were true like it actually was. If it works for the leader of the free world it can work for us, AMIRITE GUURLFREINDZ?!?!

You too can have this look in just 18 months after carrying two humans around stashed between your crotch and lungs and eating a sleeve of Pamela's gluten free pecan shortbread while they chew your tits for a year. 

I know I know. It sounds like a LOT of work but you won't believe how easy it is to achieve peak muffin top. ESPESH if the only two times you have to exercise all day are 5:00 a.m. and 9:00 p.m., both of which are seriously the worst two times to do anything except sleep and smoke weed NOMESAYIN'?! 

You too could have the muffin top of your dreams. Muffin tops are having a moment and I for one am HERE FOR THAT ISH!

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