Tuesday, August 29, 2017

OMG You Guys Denmark is Suuuuuch a Basic Bitch

OMG you guys, seriously? I know this is gonna sound petty AF but seriously Denmark is suuuuuuuuch a basic ass bitch.

Like she is AAAAALWAYS trying to one-up everyone, have you noticed that? She seriously declares on her Wikipedia page that she is “considered the happiest country in the world” and that her citizens “enjoy a high standard of living and the country ranks highly in some metrics of national performance including education, health care, protection of civil liberties, democratic governance, prosperity, and human development.”

And have you SEEN her Insta? I mean, who just puts that shit on blast? Could she be more of a pick-me?!

Also, APPARENTLY, Denmark “ranks as having the world’s highest social mobility, a high level of income equality,” and “the lowest perceived level of corruption in the world.”


Obvs she is taller and blonder than everyone else (although you know that shit comes out of a bottle), and now she’s humble-bragging about being greener than everyone else too? I don’t know about you, but I’m fucking OVER this.

Denmark has like, ZERO CHILL. Remember when she threw shade at America and told us how to raise our kids? Like with Hygge or some other word you can’t pronounce? OMG like shut uuuuuuuuuuuuuuup. It’s almost like she has this secret special language with its own alphabet that only she speaks and no one else on earth knows. 

We GET IT. You're the wokest woke bae ever to wake on planet earth. Your kids are empathetic AF and don’t care about getting into Harvard or on the varsity soccer travel team. And that bitch has the balls to trash us. Like seriously, one of her citizens LITERALLY went OFF about “how glad [she was] not to be an American parent.”

I meeeeeeeeeeean . . .  I can't even. This bitch's 'tude is full-on EXTRA.

What she DOESN’T want you to know is that her king is a DICK. That’s right, fam! Denmark’s Prince Henrik wanted to be king, and because he didn’t get the title or a king’s salary, he’s refusing to be buried next to his wife

Like who DOES THAT?

I know we can't really talk because Trump. (Duh). But does a country who still lives under a giant baby figure-head monarch somewhere on an ice floe reeeeeeeeeeeeealllly need to tell everyone else how to live their lives?

I don't think so. Seriously I'm legit considering ghosting Denmark forever.

1 comment:

  1. Jesus Christ, why not get down using english rather than some new hip (or is that hip new?)Esperanto?


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