Thursday, August 3, 2017

Maybe Don't Krazy Glue Your Dick Hole Shut, K? Thx Bye!

Technically, it's called a urinary meatus. You didn't know that, did you? Well I did, and I don't even OWN a dick hole! I have seen "Meatus in St. Louis," though, the porn-adapted Broadway musical. 


Meatus in St. Louis doesn't really exist, but I really wish it did, and someone should make it. 

You're welcome B'way!

In the meantime, dudebros, maybe don't Krazy Glue your dick hole shut during sex with the "Jiftip" sticker? Just a suggestion from someone who doesn't have the equipment. 

One visit to the website of this controversial contraceptive, and you'll wish there was an unclick function on the Internet.

Jiffy Pop posts a bunch of disclaimers that say this pee-hole latte-sticker is really just a "novelty" that isn't actually supposed to prevent STDs or preggos, which begs the question: WHYWHYWHYWHY? 

The physics of it make no sense. If plugging your dill-holio up with adhesive doesn't improve your odds on the tried and true pull n' pray method, why in the ever loving fuck would you use this? Afterall, the website makes the rather obvious point that busting a nut with this thing on feels . . . um . . . bad.

I love the step-by-step pictoral diagram though. Especially the "bond" step. It looks like the cartoon peen is getting an encouraging pat on the head before the "enjoy" step. Sort of like an atta boy, good job, you can do this type thing.

But just because you can do something doesn't mean you should, and the Jifftip peen sticker is the embodiment of that axiom.

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