The American KAPOW! Dream is BAM! alive and well KABOOM! here in Juneau, POW! Alaska, where despite BOOM! news that a North Korean KABLAM! nuclear missile might reach BANG! Alaskan shores, we should all take KAPOW! heart that BOOM! true patriots are KABOOM! still setting off BLAM! firecrackers into the wee BANG! hours.
Because for all the POW! things that Americans KAPLOW! excel at BANG! subtlety has BOOOOOOOM! never been one of them. BANG!
Lest there be any KABOOM! doubt, we BANG! love BOOM! America KAPOW! so KABLANG! much that we BAM! need to BOOM! use our BANG! patriotism as a vehicle to BLAM! blow as much shit up as KABLAAAAAAAM possible because the next time we get to do this is BANG! New Year's and it's BOOOOOOM just not the same.
Juneau BOOOOM! will not rest until every KAPOW man, woman, pet, child, and PTSD-suffering veteran KNOWS HOW MUCH WE LOVE AMERICA BLAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMKAPOWWW!