Saturday, July 8, 2017

Elixir Guitar Strings Get Right to the Point

Sex, drugs, and rock and roll. That trifecta has been the cornerstone of popular culture since the 1960s, and it's not going away anytime soon.

The makers of Elixir acoustic guitar strings understand this on a visceral marketing psychology level, because the package LEGIT looks like Trojans or personal lubricant. 

I can't tell you how many times I wander into Geoff's office (affectionately known as "the single" for its college dorm-like attributes, e.g. a Simpsons poster and an amplifier) and do a double-take when I see these.

I'm like, wait a MINUTE! What is my husband doing with a weird random pack of condoms or KY that he's just leaving here in plain view--oh wait, never mind. It's just more guitar strings. Which at least answers the immediate concern.

But when you think about it, it's not a very far leap from guitars to sex at all. At the risk of over-generalizing, let's play a game called guitars are for getting pusssaaaaay. It's a  Q&A, so bear with me.

Who asks for guitar lessons? 13 year-old boys. Why do 13 year-old boys want guitar lessons? Because they want to be rock stars. Why do they want to be rock stars? Because rock stars get allllllll the pusssssaaaay. Why do they want to get aaaallllll the pusssaaaaaay? Because they're 13 year old boys. 

Everyone knows that!

And no one knows it better than Elixir guitar strings, with their "tone" that "lasts 3-5x longer" in "bronze." Seriously this package might as well say "ribbed for her pleasure," which, bee-tee-dubs, I NEVER understood. The only pleasure I ever got from ribs was at a BBQ joint. (God I fucking LOVE ribs and wings, and the caveman grossness it takes to devour them, but that's another topic).

Anyhow, bottom line: Elixir guitar strings are trading on the promise of picking up a guitar = getting laid, and they have decades of rock n' roll history on their side.



It also happens in nature: LOOK!



1 comment:

  1. The 13 year old boys that I know are more interested in figet spinners and trampolines than girls, thank God. 15 maybe.

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