Saturday, June 24, 2017

This Takes Commitment

A friend of mine went to Chareston with her husband for her 40th birthday and came back with this pic which is just like, so ... I don't even know what. 

Amazing? Confusing? Committed? What's the word? I don't even know.

Just imagine being SO committed to your identity as a confederate ... Fan? Descendant? Superfan? Stan?

I don't even know what to call it--but whatever it is, imagine being so committed to ANY identity, that you're willing to risk your life (and the lives of others) by covering your entire back windshield with stickers commemorating that identity.

Like that's already bad enough. Then add to it that the identity in question is a traitorous militia of slaveholders that the rest of the world isn't supposed to criticize because it's some wackass version of "heritage" that includes HUMAN FUCKING CURRENCY!


Okay, leave that aside. Let's pretend this isn't confederate swag, and it was just maybe like, Seahawks stuff, or Beanie Babies, or like a collection of stickers of Calvin pissing on a Ford sign or something. 

It's just so fucking over the top.

I feel like maybe ONE Calvin pissing or Seahawks sticker is enough. We get the idea. Do we really need enough to cause a car wreck?

It's like we get it. We get it dude. You're a big rebel with a huge cock who's trying to take it back to 1861. Fuck black lives matter and watch out because you're gonna shove a gun up the ass of the first person who looks at you funny.

Like ONE of those stickers, I think, would be sufficient to get this message across. To let the world know where you stand on the Union versus the Confederacy. And yet you're in the Union now, so maybe just LAY OFF THE THROTTLE like the tiniest bit?

Even I, who could easily cover my entire vehicle with unflattering stickers of Donald Trump's face merged with the poop emoji know better than to dial it up to this level.

This takes some serious commitment (or at least a serious commitment to advertising your commitment) to a cause, and a distinct failure to master the art of subtlety.

1 comment:

  1. But, no NRA sticker! The guy is obviously faking it.


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