I'm the last person to shy away from a presidential challenge, so here goes:
1. A coffee-scented queef.
2. The sound the Antarctic ice shelf makes as it melts and breaks apart.
3. Donald Trump’s “safe word” for “pulling out” of international agreements.
4. The PIN code to the nuclear arsenal.
5. The secret spice in Liar Spice’s lyin’ sauce.
6. An as-yet undiscovered and priceless mineral buried in the hills of West Virginia that will bring back JOBS, JOBS, JOBS!
7. The last name of Jared Kushner’s soon-to-be prison boyfriend.
8. A rare virus related to Ebola that is not covered under Trump Care.
9. Trump’s 2020 campaign slogan: MAKE AMERICA #COVFEFE AGAIN.
10. The title of a new weekly feature on Breitbart.
11. Seth Rich’s last word, according to Sean Hannity.
12. The secret code name for Russiagate’s version of “Deep Throat.”
13. A new number mathematicians invented to describe the size of Trump’s crowds when a “googolplex” was too small.
14. A special coffee drink available only in the Goldman Sachs cafeteria and that comes in two sizes: BIGLY and YOOGE.
15. The working name for Trump’s new American propaganda TV Network.
16. The last word Trump typed into his phone before his 1,000th undiagnosed mini-stroke.
17. Carter Page’s middle name.
18. The word Trump’s unsecured Android auto-corrects to every time he types “FAKE NEWS!”
19. Proof that Trump deserves a debut in Us Magazine’s “Presidents: They’re Just Like Us!” feature.
20. The hashtag that, in hindsight, will have broken a presidency and all of twitter.