Sunday, April 16, 2017

This Wannabe Nazi at Berkeley has The Lamest Nazi Prop in the History of Naziing!

First thing's first. Let's get one thing out of the way: I'm not "joking" about the Holocaust. 

I'm as serious as one-way train ride to Dachau when I say that this pro/pretend/not-real/white supremacist-faux-white supremacist or whatever-the-fuck-he-is millennial neo-Nazi at the Berkeley "protests"/organized alt-right terrorist attacks yesterday has THE LAMEST Nazi prop in the entire history of Naziiing! (See Fig. 1).

As a Jew of Eastern-European descent who was raised to instinctively fear and flinch at the sound of the German language, I feel I am well within my rights to say that a carton of organic whole milk from Humboldt creamery is THE LAMEST NAZI PROP EVER.

It's hard to see in this pic, but if you squint you might be able to tell: right next to this Baby Nazi's triple-fused skateboard (WTF?) and red #MAGA hat is a half-gallon of ORGANIC WHOLE MILK FROM HUMBOLDT CREAMERY. 

Actually, let me zoom in on a screenshot of this for you (See Fig. 2). And I'm calling bullshit on the whole "milk neutralizes pepper spray" thing. That's a convenient post-hoc excuse for this Nazi's decidedly un-Nazi choice of beverage. 

This kid is thirsty AF. For anarchy. AND MILK!

Nazi pro tip: If you're going to do the "Heil Hitler," call everyone "cucks," and wear a respirator for no reason in public like you're the lead character in Evil Dead for X-Box, you might as well get some Doritos and Mountain Dew, because nothing outs you as a total poser and says, "my mommy doesn't know I'm a Nazi" like a big carton of organic whole milk from NoCal. 

Granted, organic whole milk is literally and figuratively the whitest beverage you can drink, but if you really wanted to troll the Jews and get them to drop their guard and reveal the secrets to their vast global conspiracy, you'd replace that milk carton with a big bacon cheese burger. 

As a friend said, at least he's tolerant of lactose and even Nazis need their calcium and Vitamin D so they'll have energy for Nazi-ing, I guess. (By far the best part of this whole scene though is the two women in the background, whose facial expressions say it ALL (See Fig. 3)).

Anyhow, this Aryan dudebro's balls belong on the back of his milk carton as "missing." Go home to Mommy for a binky and a diaper change, little baby neo-Nazi shit stain. You're drunk. 

ON MILK.

Fig. 1


Fig. 2


Fig. 3







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