Saturday, April 15, 2017

There are Zero Words to Describe How I Would Look in This Outfit

I'm too overwhelmed at the thought of doing whatever skate mom duties I'm supposed to be doing for Paige's figure skating recital right now, because my skate mom game is weak AF.  

So what am I doing instead? Since you asked, I'll tell you. 

I'm hiding out in a locker room at the ice rink, scrolling aimlessly through the 'gram and stumbling upon sponsored content like this:


Despite the title of this post, I do actually have some words to describe how I would look in this lemon print jumpsuit and strappy black stilettos. 

I almost want to order them and re-create this photo shoot. Simply put, me + this outfit = a level of LMAOOOOO that would almost be worth the price of the jumpsuit and shoes.

Here are the only possibilities of what I would look like in this:

1. A living bag of lemons from Costco.
2. A walking sandwich board for Gray's Papaya.
3. An unbalanced Beyoncé Stan.
4. Willy Wonka's estranged ex-wife.
5. An escapee from a mental asylum.
6. An extra in the Pajama Game musical.
7. An unemployed sex worker.
8. A crafting mom who booked it out of JoAnn Fabrics really fast without paying.

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