Friday, April 7, 2017

I Cannot Unsee These Denim Sandals, and Now Neither Can You

Not since clear knee mom jeans has denim been involved in a bigger dumpster fire than these jean sandals/denim mandals. 

I don't know where they came from and I don't know who made them. I don't even know what to call them, since anything besides "straight trash" eludes my imagination.

Like I want surveillance footage of how these came to be. I'm imagining maybe a college lacrosse player wearing these on the quad after his girlfriend decided his pale-wash Levi cutoff jean shorts were too fugly to wear and should be turned into slip-ons.

Or it could also be something Kanye West designed and is modeling on the runway and retailing for $800 a pair. 

How does a person sit down and think to themselves, you know what would look really cool? Levis pale-wash 501s sewed over a pair of Adidas sandals.

Like what is the creative process for this abomination? It has to be something along these lines:

1. Stare at jeans and sandals on floor of bedroom.
2. Decide both are beyond hideous.
3. Smoke shit-ton of dank nugs.
4. Decide--impossibly--that they would be less hideous together?
5. Get out fabric scissors and hot glue gun.
6. Put on Rihanna and get to work work work work work work work.

This is the fashion version of a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, but instead of peanut butter and chocolate it's mustard and cheerios.

2 comments:

  1. Is this some sort of Pinterest on acid trip?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Frankly they look comfy to me but the Levi badges IS a little over the top.

    ReplyDelete