Would you like to buy a raffle ticket? No? Wait, let me tell you what it's for first. Hang on a second here . . . it's for my kid's preschool. No no wait, wait. It's for their soccer team. No wait, wrestling. No wait, basketball. No wait, track. No wait, ski team. No wait, cross-country. No wait, hockey. No wait, dance. No wait, a trip to DC.
Actually I'm not really sure what it's for. I have them here somewhere, between the game cards and prize cards and other coupon books and stuff. Hang on . . .
What are the prizes? Um, I think . . . like . . . tickets on Alaska Airlines somewhere? First prize is $1,000 and second prize is . . . hang on a second here. Um, $500? A whale watch? A helicopter flight-seeing tour or something? No, you don't have to be present to win--see it says so right there. No, it doesn't matter because you won't win anyway, obviously.
Yes, I can take a check. Can I give you this check for YOUR fundraiser at the same time so we're even though? Otherwise I'll feel super guilty. Wait . . . did this transaction just completely cancel itself out?
Probably. Who cares. Oh whoops, I forgot my checkbook at home.
While I'm at it, are you out of wrapping paper or cookie dough or cookies or roses, per chance? No? How about boxes of fruit or Maine lobster or maybe some magazines? Because I have some order forms here for the wrapping paper at least. Actually for the lobster too.
If you don't want (much less need) any of that stuff, don't worry. You can always donate to this silent auction thingie. Or maybe it's an outcry auction? Like for scouts? Or bacon? Or salmon? Or trees? Or salmon IN trees? Or ducks? Or a societal ill of some kind?
If you're running low on tanzanite jewelry this will be a great source for that. Also for baskets. And random jars of jam and soap in baskets. I don't know. It's a fundraiser. That I can tell you.
Can you bake? You can? Good! We're having a dessert auction too. Oh, you're already baking sixteen cakes for sixteen other dessert auctions too? No problem, so am I.
We can trade cakes.