In these uncertain times, it can be so hard to separate fact from fiction, especially when our Sentient Cheeto Overlord drops one of his famous word turds.
Well wonder no more! O.H.M. has taken the liberty (while she still has it) of creating this handy Trump-to-Reality pocket dictionary for your convenience. Now every time Lord Dampnut tweets or says something/anything, you'll know exactly what it means in reality:
Very Sad!: Kind of Happy!
Disaster!: No Big Deal.
Extreme Vetting: Unconstitutional Deportation
Massive Voter Fraud: A Few Black and Latino People Trying to Vote
Imploding: Holding Steady
Fake News: Semi-Credible Information
Alternative Fact: Regular Lie
Very Unfair!: Quite Fair, Actually
Very Rich: Kinda Bankrupt
Huge Deal: Big Nothing
Disavow: Dog Whistle
Look at What's Happening in/with XYZ: Please for Your Own Sanity Ignore What I'm About to Say Regarding XYZ
Great Discussion: Staged Photo Op
Productive Meeting: Golf Game at Mar-a-Lago
Paid Protesters: Volunteer Grandmas
New Low: FISA Warrant
Tapped Wires: Microwaved Ramen