Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Immigrants are Stealing Our Immortality

"Immigrants have 60% lower mortality rate than non-immigrants, Toronto study finds."
--Toronto Star

I don't know about you, but I'm appalled. Unfortunately, there isn't a fence, a wall, or an unconstitutional travel ban that will stop this flood of immigrants from stealing our immortality.

We Americans are special. We are exceptional. We are exceptionally special, and especially exceptional. And if anyone in the world is going to achieve immortality, it should be us. 

Do you think we should just sit around, getting older and sicker on Obamacare or TRyan Care or Whoevencares, while these immigrants suck the very essence of being from our bodies by 60% according to a recent study with a 3% margin of error?

We can't afford this anymore. 

There are many hard-working Americans who are in need of the Vital Life Force that immigrants seem to possess, and it's just not right. The only saving grace here is that this study was conducted in Toronto, which is in Canada, which is like the United States, but isn't the United States, because they have more maple syrup. 

UNFAIR!

We're going to live forever and take our stolen elixir of permanent youth back. If immigrants live forever, AND they're taking all our jobs, then NO American will EVER work again! 

This aggression will not stand, and anyone who doesn't like it can move to Canada and live with Justin Trudeau.

1 comment:

  1. Will this injustice ever end? I thought separate but equal went the way of the sea cow. Clearly an executive order is needed to increase the deaths per thousand of immigrants and restore parity.

    ReplyDelete