Sunday, February 26, 2017

Legal Weed is Maybe the Only Thing Saving America from Itself Right Now

No one could have predicted that when the Founding Fathers drafted the Constitution and structured the republic, dank-ass nugs would be the ultimate savior of their democratic vision.

Safe to say, the country is tragically divided right now, with one half pretty much totes cool with Nazis, and the other half more or less praying to die in a fire 25 times a day. 

But one thing on which ALL Americans (except Jeff Sessions) can agree is that the legal sticky-icky should stick around, otherwise Americans be like . . . WUT. DAFUQ.

Confederate-flag wielding rednecks with no teeth and mud-flaps on their Ford F-150s in Alabama, and vegan hippies pretzeling themselves into child's pose on a yoga mat near a winery in Napa can all find common ground in torching a giant 420 blunt packed to the gills with chronic.

Now that legal weed is a $3B (as in BAZILLION) dollar industry, elected officials hailing from states where THC gummy bears are raking in green gold doubloons by the bushel are suddenly paying attention and rightfully scared for their jay-oh-bees.

They might be scurrying away like rats from their enraged, soon-to-be-uninsured-and-dying-of-cancer constituents, but they'll never escape the reality that ganja, Mary Jane, da trees for your mind, or whatever you want to call it is the one thing that unites everyone who can and will fire Congress the second they harsh America's mellow.

So before siding with Jeff No Bong Sessions, Congress would be wise to think twice and stop and frisk their constituents for the dime bag that's inevitably somewhere on their person right now.

Kumbaya, y'all!


1 comment:

  1. Too funny! All my redneck play-cowboy friends in Homer that voted for The Orange Baboon are all a-kack. "You can have my bud when they pry my cold dead hands off it!" The nut is that these simpletons (disclosure, yes I call them that, to their faces) were just riding a too long bad country western song, as usual.

    And tonight, I will enjoy my Sesi Star with a little more 'up' to it.

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