Thursday, February 23, 2017

If Shaving My Legs Was Part of the Trump Agenda

This leg. Look at it. It's a DISASTER. It's hairy, it's not a ten. Not even a five. Far from it. And I will tell you folks, we are looking at this situation very closely. VERY closely. 

Believe me, okay? 

And we are going to get these hairs out. These hairs, they're growing on this leg, and they have to come out. Not all of them, just most of them. All the ones we can reach with a razor anyway. Look, this leg needs help. It can be great. It will be great. We're gonna take care of it, folks. It's going to be a beautiful, amazing, absolutely terrific leg.

Right now, though, it's a huge disaster, okay? Absolutely. This whole unshaved leg situation. It's my number one priority to fix this really terrible, awful situation on this leg right here. 

I know a guy at Gillette, terrific, guy. Great guy. I met with him four weeks ago. And we're about to announce a huge deal. Huge, huge deal. The FAKE NEWS doesn't want to cover it, because the dishonest media likes to lie to you about shaving, and they are the enemy of all hard-working, God-fearing women who remember to shave their legs more than once a month.

Sad.

But let me tell you, I feel it's very, very unfair the way this leg has been treated. It's been so misrepresented by the FAKE MEDIA. Are there close to a million hairs on this leg? I don't know, maybe. Many people are saying that. You tell me. You tell me. One thing I can tell you, we're going to launch an investigation to find out how this was allowed to happen.

We have a lot to look into. The so-called hygiene of the person responsible for this MESS? It's a job-killing hoax planned out and paid for by the Chinese shaving cream manufacturers, by the way.

What I will do for this leg will be amazing, it's a movement. A big, BIG movement of a razor up and down this leg because what this leg has become is just terrible. How was this allowed to happen? That I cant say. But it's not going to happen anymore. 

Not gonna happen.


1 comment: