Friday, February 10, 2017

A Man Named Chuck Will Tell Me How to Do Feminism, I Guess?

This might finally be the year to try skydiving without a parachute, but not before I let "a man named Chuck" and someone named Suzanne who gets her hairs did by Kate Gosselin's ex-stylist tell me how to do feminism.

I took some screenshots of a story on (where else) the "Values" section of the Fox News website, wherein the author of a book called "The Alpha Female's Guide to Men and Marriage" essentially advises women everywhere to quit being demanding, nagging skanks and make an effort to look and act fuckable once in a while.

Why? Because stupid SOCIETY MYEEEAAAAH is creating a "crop" of "alpha women" who are "unable to love." And now is the time for all you "hard," unloved/unloveable feminazis to reap what ye have sown.

You can read the whole thing on Fox (natch), but Suzanne basically gives hetero and heterocentrist women the bombshell relationship insight that alpha dudebros (and let's face it the betas too) like to be (a) appreciated, and (b) fucked.

THANKS EINSTEIN I MEAN SUZANNE!

This is something I have yet to deduce in a quarter century of appreciating and fucking dudes. But don't just take some broad with a book deal's word on this genius manipulation of feminine wiles.

Ask "a man named Chuck." For REEEEAAAALZ.

I mean, look at the text of the last screenshot below and feast your eyes on the identity of the person from whom Suzanne wants you to take a Women's Studies seminar for 5 credits.

"A MAN NAMED CHUCK."

Who is this mysterious "Chuck," and what pray tell are his credentials? Welp, he's a man. And he wrote on Suzanne's website this one time. That's about it.

It was there (on Suzanne's website) that Chuck rightly said: "a strong woman is awesome, but she must be inviting." As far as we know, however, Chuck is still awaiting an RSVP to his dick.




2 comments:

  1. My cranky feminist translation: Women are only lovable (and fuckable) if they agree to bear all the emotional labor of a relationship, every day, FOR ALL TIME.

    Because it's part of being "feminine," of course.

    GAG.

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  2. I NEVER listen to or read anything said or written by a Chuck or a Larry. Watching baseball played by a Chuck or a Larry is an entirely different matter, however.

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