Monday, January 23, 2017

My Husband Was a Woke-Ass Bae Before it Was Cool

This ginger snap (better known as Cinnabear, the Red Panda, or the Baby Whisperer) deserves a rare moment of public praise on this blog for being a woke-ass bae before it was cool.

Perhaps more than anything else, going to the DC women's march this weekend has highlighted for me just how enabled (in a good way) my life is by the near total reversal of traditional gender roles in my household thanks to #OriginalWokeBae.

By giving Geoff a hashtag I am by no means implying he's alone or unique in his inherent feminism (or as he describes it, "egalitarianism"); only that I appreciate it.

My mom didn't change her last name and was the primary breadwinner of our household growing up, which was uncommon at the time. I followed in her footsteps, but kind of one-upped her in terms of merging lives with someone who has more domestic ability in one pinky than I have in my entire being.

Each day from the minute he wakes up, Geoff is doing something for me, our household, or our kids. He makes coffee and brings it to me as I am getting ready for work. He does all the shopping and cooking and keeps track of all the kids' activities. I do the dishes and laundry, which he does when I fail at that 25% of the time. He fixes the garbage disposal, makes a quiche, changes out the snow tires, takes the kids to the dentist, and attends a school board meeting all in one day.

When he heard about the women's march, he all but shoved me out the door to go. Leaving him alone with the kids for a weekend is a cake walk for him, but overwhelms me. I had to marvel at my good fortune in not having to worry about my kids being left alone with a clueless dudebro dad for the weekend. If anything, it's he that needs to worry in the rare moment I'm alone with the kids for more than a couple of days. Things go missing and the house kind of falls into disarray.

I owe this man a debt of gratitude and good fortune for being the woke-ass bae so much of womankind wants to see in the world. 17 years of co-existence is not easy. I have my regrets, ambivalences, and misgivings about my life and they torture me at times. But if it's one (actually three) things that are certain, it's death, taxes, and Geoff doing what comes naturally by being a genuine feminist--not by design or expedience, but by instinct.

Thank you #OriginalWokeBae.

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