Friday, January 27, 2017

Caps Lock, Shift, and Exclamation Point Keys Plan March on Washington

On the heels of the Women's March, local immigration rallies, and planned scientist marches on Washington, DC, a new group has applied for a permit to express its First Amendment rights in response to alleged abuse at the tiny hands of President Trump: 

Three keys on the common computer keyboard and smart phone.

The National Association of Caps Lock Keys, supported in part by its two closest allies, the National Associations of Shift Keys and Exclamation Points--is organizing a massive protest on the Washington Mall to rail against the President's near daily abuse with tweets that include words like SAD!, DISASTER!, NOW!, and Enjoy!

"We hope this will be a truly historic event," said Cappy McLockwood, chief organizer for the march. "For far too long, President Trump has taken liberties that no person--no matter what size his hands--should ever take with us, as well as with our allies in the Shift and Exclamation Point communities." 

The words "speech" and "honor" are expected to make speeches at the rally expressing dismay at being misspelled by the leader of the free world as "speach" and "honer" over and over again, rendering the possibility that this is a mere typographical error increasingly remote.

President Trump's "old, unsecured Android phone," which is arguably the most frequent victim of his abuse, was in the President's pants and thus could not be reached for comment.




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