Saturday, January 28, 2017

By the Time Dick Cheney is Calling Your Policies Inhumane, You are Officially Satan's #1 Bottom Bitch

There's no other way to say this. 

By the time you have the aptly-named Dick Cheney--Halliburton's favorite ho and war-mongering torture cheerleader who shoots his friends in the face for fun--calling your policies into question on moral and constitutional grounds, congratulations. 

You have made it. You are officially Satan's #1 bottom bitch.

Since President Trump is so consumed with his ratings, reviews, status, and popularity, he'll be pleased to know that he is now--without a doubt--the BIGGEST, BEST, MOST TERRIFIC, BEAUTIFUL fuckboi the Dark Lord Satan ever pegged in all of eternity.

You have to dive deep into the depths of vengeful revanchism and down a black hole of empathy to find someone as evil as Dick Cheney willing to disavow your revanchist policies as un-American. 

Like, really deep. Like, seven circles of hell and then all the way up Satan's asshole and out his mouth again deep.

Basically, if Dick Cheney is saying that something you did is "against everything we stand for" as Americans, you should delete all the contacts in your unsecured Galaxy Note 7 except Satan, text Satan a dick pic at 1:00 a.m., and ask if you can come down to hell for a booty call.

This is what it's like to be on a 747 piloted by a vindictive, screaming toddler who later grows up to be the lead character from American Psycho.

Buckle up, 'Murica! 

1 comment:

  1. Isn't that sign behind the Dick s'possed to read CPAP?

    ReplyDelete