1. No kegs.
2. Meal plan sucks (no all you can eat cereal bar!)
3. Members generally unattractive.
4. Degree is worthless.
5. No NCAA sports.
6. Store has no cool tee shirts.
7. Free condoms hard to find.
8. No health center.
9. Classes way too easy.
10. Acapella groups only do an out of tune Star Spangled Banner.
11. It's a party just one day every four years instead of every day for four years.
12. Library has no books and even fewer people who've read one.
13. No food truck at 3:00 a.m.
14. Electors bad at Hackey Sack.
15. Two words: no weed.