Thursday, November 24, 2016

Soundtrack of Shame

I've long felt that really bad top 40 music is a guilty pleasure that should accompany truly shameful activities. 

Like if you're going to listen to total schwag, you should own it, and do something really gross and shameful at the same time.

Here's my suggested Top 40 Soundtrack of Shame

All About That Bass (Meghan Trainor): Eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby straight from the carton while standing in front of an open freezer.

Cruise (Florida/Georgia Line): Sniffing dry erase markers or gasoline in the garage.

The Scientist (Cold Play): Smoking dirt weed out of a beer can bong while lurking exes and the "ones that got away" on social media.

Love Yourself (Justin Bieber) Serial masturbation/crying.

Blank Space (Taylor Swift): Sorting children's Legos by shape and color (paying extra special attention to the little people and animals) and calling it "cleaning."

Formation (Beyoncé): Strugglng and cursing through 15 crunches.

Chasing Stars (One Republic): Doing whippets off a can of supermarket whipped cream in front of an open refrigerator.

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