Sunday, November 6, 2016

Here, I Fixed Some of the Juneau Empire Editorial Endorsing Donald Trump

Reconciling a vote for Trump, is, for many voters, not easy impossible. Because many of those voters are disabled, women, women who have been raped, not white, Jewish, Muslim, immigrants, and/or others who Trump and his surrogates have vocally persecuted in the vilest and most terrifying terms. Also, they see that Trump is to lying what Coltrane was to jazz and Einstein was to physics.

Even members of Alaska's congressional delegation Alaska's two Republican senators--whom we rarely see because we dictate the opinion pages of this newspaper from our office in Georgia--have declared him unfit for the presidency, again because he gloried in and bragged about sexually assaulting women, and Alaska has one of the highest rates of domestic violence and sexual assault in the nation, which both our senators recognize. 

His rhetoric hasn't been pretty seen in America ever before, threatens to erode basic functions of democracy and the structure of the Republic, incites violence, and has generally made all of us lesser people for having heard it. 

He's run his campaign like a reality TV show, in which the loudest, most obnoxious contestant comes out on top wins the endorsement of the Juneau Empire, whose editorial page now shares the rather dubious company of the KKK's official newspaper, the Crusader. 

A president Trump will have to make the pivot transfiguration to being "presidential" that he has so far resisted is manifestly incapable of to anyone with eyes, ears, and the willingness to think about Donald Trump being President of the United States with nuclear weapons at his little orange fingertips for even 2.6 seconds

However, a president Trump administration, we believe, would provide the disruptive forces necessary for the federal government to rethink its policies in Alaska systematically launch a termite-level assault on the framework of American democracy. On almost every issue--secure borders, a strong military, government regulation, health care--Trump's proposals would benefit not do shit for Alaskans because Trump has no policies, and his "proposals" would be laughable if they weren't so dangerous.

We know this is not the final word on the subject, and readers will have many different opinions on Tuesday's vote alternately praise us for having the balls to endorse Trump all the way from Augusta, and express horror that we've gone out of our way to join journalistic ranks on the wrong side of history with the Ku Klux Klan.

Our goal is to start a discussion--one that, hopefully, impossibly, is more civil than the campaign has been.

Important note from a reader and former LOCAL Empire employee: Having spent four years in the Empire newsroom, I can attest that this endorsement comes straight from Georgia and that it pained even the conservative-leaning members of the editorial board to publish this. It was publish or be punished (perhaps unemployed), and these are people with families, with bills and loans and lives. It was a hard decision to make, but I understand what they had to do.


  1. Remember when you were in a junior high writing class and were tasked with writing something positive about natively repugnant things like camel vomit, carrion maggots or suppurating syphilitic pustules? That's what the original piece reminds me of.

  2. In a sense, I', glad the editorial was written in Georgia (and sounds like it) because this in no way reflects the Juneau I know and love.

  3. I think the folks at the Vampire have lost their ever-loving minds.

  4. A Trump administration would "provide the disruptive force necessary for the federal government to rethink its policies in Alaska"? There is no doubt that a government run by a basket of deplorable incompetents will be disruptive, but that might not be a good thing. I am embarrassed for the good people of Juneau and those who work at the Empire.

  5. Some other Morris papers were all fed this exact same 'editorial'.

    It's not the word of your local editorial staff, it's worse.

    Corporate controlled pre-boxed propaganda merely masquerading here as 'local editorial'.

    Your local staff is complicit in this masquerade, zero journalistic ethic or responsibility.


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