Tuesday, November 1, 2016

5 Indulgent Desserts to Reward Yourself With for No Reason Other Than Being Sad and Waking Up in the Middle of the Night with Generalized Anxiety

You know what I'm talking about, girls. 

It's that dreaded time of year when we all stress out about those extra calories and pounds from Halloween candy and Christmas treats that seem to pop up practically everywhere we go. And to make matters worse, we have like NO time to go to the gym or yoga. 

Amirite??! 

It's also the time of year when we take stock of our lives, and under winter's descending veil begin to lose sleep knowing that we're broke AF, will probably get cancer if we don't have it already, and that nothing we do matters in the end anyway. 

Needless to say, all of this can add up to lost sleep and cravings for a little sweet midnight indulgence! So why not go ahead and reward yourself just for being sad and waking up in the middle of the night with generalized anxiety? 

Here are five indulgent and decadent dessert ideas to help you do exactly that!

1. Leftover birthday cake: Leftover birthday cake on a plate at 12:15 a.m. is a great way to help put yourself back to sleep after the Tylenol P.M. you took at 9:30 runs its course. Stand in front of the open refrigerator with a fork and chip away at a giant wedge of cake from the outside in while ruminating on the reality that you're another year closer to death. Watch out for candle wax!

2. Half-eaten pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream: Did you wake up to pee and realize that maybe you forgot something important you had to do tomorrow and you're not quite sure what it is? Check your iPhone calendar for that thing, but not before you go to your freezer armed with a spoon to mine out every single chip and chunk of cookie dough in the half pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream until all that's left is plain vanilla and probably some of your saliva.

3. Nutella straight from the jar: OMG, what was that noise? Was it a kid falling out of their bed or maybe a serial killer? Before waking up your irritated husband, consider investigating the source of the sound yourself; but not before leveling up with a giant tablespoon of straight-up Nutella. No one ever took down an ax murderer on an empty stomach.

4. Kids' Halloween Candy: Sure they look forward to trick-or-treating every year and catalog their candy loot with a conscientious zeal that you wish they would devote to literally anything else in life, but that doesn't mean they'll necessarily notice a few Reese's peanut butter cup minis or Fun-Sized Snickers sacrificed to your 2:00 a.m. case of The Sads!

5. Chocolate covered caramel popcorn: Uh oh! Someone in a different time zone is probably dead and it's keeping you wide awake! Better scan your emails and social media to check to see who died. But whether someone died while you were sleeping or not, a huge handful of caramel popcorn will make you feel SO much better. Bonus: you can have the little shards stuck between your teeth for breakfast four hours later. Time to call the dentist!


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