Friday, October 21, 2016

I Just Want to Hear Monster Mash on Loop for the Next 10-15 Days

Do you think that's too much to ask? To hear the song Monster Mash over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until Halloween and maybe even a few days after? Until early November, maybe?

Monster Mash goes super amazingly great with waxy fun-size 100 Grand bars that somehow taste a lot worse than I remember. Like, a lot worse. (Reese's PB cups are still delish though. No one can step to the Reese's).

Also Thriller. That one really takes me back. Remember the Thriller video? When that came out it was state of the ART! And the record? I had that shit on vinyl. I can still see Michael Jackson sprawled out like a lynx, all airbrushed with "Thriller" scrawled across the album cover in white script. I stared at that album cover all day, e'er day.

But I digress.

Monster Mash is the earworm I MOST want boring a hole into my brain crinkles for the next two weeks. Every time I turn on the radio, and every time I go into a store, I just want to be reminded that it's Halloween. Because without Monster Mash, I'd forget.

I'd be all like, why does cheaply-made polyester Minions and Harry Potter-themed garbage keep showing up on my doorstep from Amazon? Why is every surface in my workplace and home littered with foul, processed miniature candies that I wrinkle my nose at and announce are disgusting as I open and eat one after the other after the other like a chain smoker but with Sour Patch Kids instead of Camel Lights? Why do I keep saying, "ohmigawd this candy is so disgusting" [chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp]?

Then fucking Monster Mash comes on, and I'm like, OH YEEEEEEEAH! Now I remember! It's Halloween!

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