Tuesday, September 20, 2016

What is it With Crazy People and Skittles?

First it was a rent-a-cop murdering a kid for holding a package of Skittles. Now it's our almost-future-maybe-if-God-truly-does-hate-us President invoking the popular candy to his own nefarious ends.

In this Trump campaign ad, which for obvious reasons is currently breaking the Internet, Cheeto Jesus compares Syrian refugees to Skittles. 

Skittles. As in the tiny little hard balls of brightly-colored high fructose corn syrup that make rainbow drool you can dangle over your kid brother's face while pinning him down on the shag carpet.

Apart from the fundamental offensiveness of comparing human beings fleeing a war-torn country to a popular children's confection, this ad is objectionable because of its sloppy metaphor.

So Syria is a bowl, right? ... and the Skittles are the people living in Syria, see? ... and your hand is America, m'kay? ... that reaches into the bowl of Syria and uh... eats? ... a handful of Syrians ... and like most of them make you sick, but taste delicious with little nutritive value ... But three of them are cyanide. You follow? You with me?

Like this literally sounds like a conversation that takes place over an awkward family meal, during which your racist uncle is trying to explain his beef with refugees, despite having never encountered one in person, in terms that make sense only to him.

Forget about racist. This ad is even more offensive because of how straight up stupid it is. 

The true victim in all of this is the Skittles brand, which may never recover from this endorsement. Oh who are we kidding? All publicity is good publicity.

Just look at Trump.

UPDATE: Official response from Skittles: "Skittles are candy. Refugees are people. We don't feel it's an appropriate analogy. We will respectfully refrain from further commentary as anything we say could be misinterpreted as marketing."

SKITTLES FTW.

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