Saturday, September 3, 2016

Three Cyborgs from Space Want to Eat Your Young

There is simply no other explanation for this photograph and its caption. 

The first sign that these are not in fact humans--but rather alien cyborgs from Andromeda 86523--is the discordant use of the short and long forms of the word "versus" in two consecutive sentences. 

Relatedly, the seemingly arbitrary use of boldfaced font leads me to believe that this graphic design work came from a galaxy that means us harm, as does the endorsement of alleged "students" and "millennials." 

But more to the point, it's the photos themselves that really give these three innocent looking poster children for the Aryan Siblinghood away. They're not simply the wealthy children of America's Suicide Pill. No siree, Bob.

Nope. The expression on the face of the one in the back--the one whose mouth resembles a cat's freshly-licked anus--gives them away completely. 

These three beings are alien cyborgs from outer space who are merely biding their time until the right moment when they can unzip their faces, revealing a dripping, dark green mass of teeth and sinews that they will use to devour your young.

Wake up, America. It's obvious. "Outsider" is right!


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