Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Inside My Head at a VRBO

Wow. This place is DOPE. Where do these people get all their money? Let me see if I can deduce it from photos and diplomas. Ah! Something to do with exchanging assets for other people or something? Of course. I get it now . . .

Wow this bathtub is ridiculous! How do you use this faucet/toaster/coffee maker/TV? I can't believe people just let strangers live in their house like this . . .

OMG. This is the blondest and whitest family ever. They have Jesus and German paraphernalia all over the place, too. I wonder if they're secretly neo-Nazis who want Trump to get elected and genocide my family? Is "genocide" even a verb? I know I'm being really judgmental right now, but seriously, under the right circumstances? They would totes ethic cleanse me if they could I bet . . . 

Then again, it's obvious from these pics that they had a child who was very ill and died young. That is so incredibly tragic. There's no WAY they're neo-Nazis.

Holy shit. This is the least relaxing vacation ever! I think I just did the same 22 dishes 5 times. OMG. NUTELLA!!! Where're the spoons?

Look at all this random shit in their fridge. Bud Light?! That's it. They definitely want Trump to genocide me, family tragedies notwithstanding.

God what is WRONG with me? Who thinks like this? I deserve to be genocided!

Well someone had fun with the label maker. There are labels on everything. "OWNER'S CLOSET." I wonder what's in there . . . 

It feels so violating going through these people's Netflix queue. It's like rummaging through someone's underwear drawer. More boring soccer documentaries? They gave the instructions right here in this binder though. It's not like they don't know their Netflix is full open kimono for everyone to see?

God what is wrong with me? Like I said. I deserve everything that's coming to me, including genocide.

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