Tuesday, May 24, 2016

When I Go Camping, I Look Just Like This

My camping trips look exactly like the cover of this Cabela's catalogue, and I'm certain everyone in Alaska can relate. 

There's always a beautiful sunrise in shorts-and-t-shirt weather, and brand new, undamaged gear. But most of all, my camping trips are always romantic getaways that look like the set of a Viagara or Cialis commercial, minus the two bathtubs in a field of course, (because although soaking in two separate bathtubs in a meadow while holding hands is totes normal foreplay for "mature" adults, I usually leave my clawfoot porcelain bathtub at home when I'm heeding the call of the wild).

Look at the gentle yet authoritative and protective way this silver fox is pouring wilderness tea/coffee for his woman next to a perfectly controlled and warming fire while seated on a log-shaped sofa/sofa-shaped log.

Look at the woman's body language: how she's turned into him with her legs crossed and her perfect braid. Her demeanor says fit and confident, yet still appreciative of chivalrous kettle use.

Note too the ambiguous race and ethnicities of this couple, which is a bold move by Cabela's, I must say. Considering that Old Navy got hate-trolled by bigots for featuring an interracial couple in a recent ad, I'm certain the core customer base of Cabela's will be much more receptive to diversity as they flip through page after page of game-hauling carts and enough cammo to outfit every backwoods militia from Maine to Idaho.

Yup, when I go camping, it looks just like this Cabela's catalogue.

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