1. Technically, Juneau is still in America. That means we drive on the RIGHT side of the road, m'kay?
2. The left lane is for passing. I repeat. Left. Lane. For. PASSING.
3. No one is fooled into thinking the size of your truck matches the size of your dick.
4. If you're going to cut someone off and then flip them off, make sure you're not on the way to the same karate practice with your kids.
5. Texting, smoking butts, and eating McDonalds all at the same time is not consistent with driving best practices.
6. When you're pulling out into a street, try looking BEFORE turtle-heading out such that oncoming traffic has to swerve out of the way.
7. When the snow starts to fly and the roads ice up, try slowing down as opposed to driving as fast as possible.
8. Before you jump into a beater Subaru, make sure it's yours.
9. Orange construction cones are not part of a video game that you're supposed to knock down for points.
10. The Fred Meyer parking lot is not the set of The Walking Dead. You're not a zombie, at least not yet.
11. It's all about peace, love, and good vibes--right hippies? Don't fight over those Leaf charging stations.
12. BETWEEN the yellow lines in parking spaces is the target to shoot for when parking your car in that space.
13. If you're going to transport a bunch of stuff on top of your car, physics suggests that you MIGHT want to tie it down first.
14. The cool thing about turn signals is they are really good for letting people know you're about to TURN, m'kay?