Sunday, April 17, 2016

"Nut Soup": A Recipe by Isaac, Age 5

Me: We're having soup for dinner.
Isaac: What kind of soup?
Me: I'm not sure, our friends are bringing it.
Isaac [With evil glint in eye]: I hope it's NUT soup.
Me: Nut soup? How do you make that?
IsaacYou take a NUT, out of a man's CROTCH. [Grabs junk]. An ADULT man. You take the little sqishy egg out, and then you take your eyeball out. Then you put the egg where your eyeball was, and then put your eyeball in some soup. And that's how you make NUT SOUP! 
Me: That sounds more like eyeball soup, and the nut part is just a way for you to incorporate testicles somehow.
Isaac: What does 'incorporate' mean?
Me: Nevermind. I just hope this whole discussion isn't a sign that you're destined to author the future Jeffrey Dahmer Cookbook.
Isaac: Who's Jeffrey Dahmer?
Me: Ugh. Let's just forget this whole conversation ever happened, ok? [Doorbell rings] Oh thank God. Our friends are here with the soup...

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