Saturday, April 30, 2016

Last Will & Testament from the Girl Scout Camp In

If you're reading this, I've probably been murdered by 150 little squealing Girl Scouts. I'm at the Juneau Girl Scout "camp-in" "sleeping" in a tent on AstroTurf in a field house. And what can I say? I might not make it out of here alive.

I ran into a mom friend of mine in the bathroom. One who very clearly has her shit together. "Have you been here this whole time,?" she asked incredulously. I replied that I had, and she asked if I'd been hiding out blogging. I denied it, but didn't have the heart to tell her that I'd been hiding out coloring instead. (Yes, for the record I made Geoff drive 20 minutes out of his way to bring me my supplies, which I had forgotten. And what of it?!)

Truth be told, the girls were being tended to by older Girl Scouts, so it's not like I was failing to be present. Well, I was failing to be present, but not to the detriment or notice of my child this time.

Let it be known that my last meal was wine and cheese. Just kidding. It was a cheese stick and freeze dried red grape slices from Costco. Which is basically the same thing.

When I set up our tent, it was like riding a bicycle. A really annoying, tattered, and dirty bicycle that reminds you that you haven't been on a legit backpacking or outdoor camping adventure in years. I think I'll leave that tent to any number of people I know who get off their kiesters often enough to enjoy it.

As for my personal effects, including all my coloring supplies, I'll leave those to Juneau Parks and Rec to pawn at a massive garage sale on this very spot. Attention ladies: I've got some supes cute shoes. Just saying.

UPDATE: I survived! On five hours of sleep in which I dreamed about being in a pie-eating contest with Jay Z at Gracie Mansion in NYC. I drank a half cup of coffee, which is the carefully calibrated amount I need to avoid a migraine and still go back to sleep while Paige watches Harry Potter 6 (thank you Hollywood for making that movie 2.5 hours) and Isaac plays T ball in the driving rain.

I'm happy I lived. After all, I've got a lot of sleeping left to do.


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