Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Interview With a Marmot

Alaska is different, which is why the rest of the country was celebrating boring old Groundhog Day while we were paying respect to the noble marmot!

One Hot Mess caught up with the Alaskan marmot (Marmota Broweri) who dishes to O.H.M. about screeching, blueberries, and what he really thinks of the fact that the legislature turned him into a state holiday.

O.H.M.: Okay, Let's get this out of the way. Conservation groups list your status as "least concern." How do you feel about that?
Marmot: [laughs]. Well, I try not to pay too much attention to the ratings, you know? I guess it's a lot better than being endangered or extinct. 

O.H.M.: So there have been a lot of rumors. What's the deal with that screeching thing?
Marmot: Oh that's just our way of communicating and expressing alarm. We're highly social creatures and we often like to entertain/scare hikers and campers with our shrill, psychotic sounding squirrel screams.

O.H.M.: How do you feel about having a state holiday named after you?
Marmot: Well again, it's certainly better than the alternatives. For example, being compared to a fat cell that needs to be liposuctioned out like they did to the human state employees. What can I say? It's an honor. I mean, I'm no William H. Seward, and I don't want to give you the impression that I think my pellets don't stink. But yeah, it's an honor, although I do hope they do something about the fiscal crisis this year instead of spending a gazillion dollars on travel and making Puffin Day or something.

O.H.M.: So, any plans for the big day?
Marmot: Probably just Netflix and Chill, chow down on some blueberries in my burrow, and watch Groundhog Day. My cousin's in that movie, so it's kind of an annual tradition. True story.

1 comment:

  1. Here's an important marmot fact that probably extremely relevant to Juneau's marmot support community.

    The California marmot community has organized to improve marmot preparation for the marmot workforce. The new training program includes car battery wire gnawing, radiator hose perforation, glycol tasting and intake manifold roosting. These new disciplines have become a very popular alternative to the traditional backpack snatch and quick grab lunch studies. Once again California is the trend setter.

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