@realDonaldTrump: If Jesus rises again NOW, thereby doing a great service to humanity, I will give Him free 2nd lifetime golf at any one of my courses!
@realDonaldTrump: Islam, Buddhism, and Judaism are, without question, the WORST EVER religions! I predict an Imam, Monk, or Rabbi will do something really bad and totally stupid now to prove otherwise!
@realDonaldTrump: Everyone else running in this election is a total sham and a travesty! Why are we not a theocracy?
@realDonaldTrump: I have never seen a thin Christian drinking Franzia in a wine glass and pretending it was the blood of Christ.
@realDonaldTrump: Mary should not have taken Joseph back. She cheated on him like a dog and will do it again--just watch. Joseph can do much better!
@realDonaldTrump: Very sad how Jesus wore a crown of thorns. When I'm president He will wear a crown of gold and jewels! God knows Romans were a bunch of losers. God also knows my bank account is one of biggest ever!
@realDonaldTrump: Just last week Jesus called my office and asked if He could stay in one of my hotels. Presidential suite. Gorgeous house. I'm very rich, which is the beauty of me.
@realDonaldTrump: Mary Magdalene was not attractive and a total follower. She flirted with me shamelessly and I see why she was trailing Jesus around like a lost puppy. During Middle Ages she was known as "loose." Couldn't agree more!
@realDonaldTrump: T-Mobile wi-fi service at the Crucifixion was terrible! Why can't they do something to improve it for their customers? Fine for Vatican, but I don't want it in my buildings.
@realDonaldTrump: Only losers and haters think Holy Trinity is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Everyone else knows it's Trump, Trump, and Trump!
@realDonaldTrump: An extremely credible source has called my office and told me that @PopeFrancis is a fraud.
@realDonaldTrump: Jesus: call me. What the hell is God doing allowing all these Mexicans to continue entering the U.S.? Pope Francis obviously has Jesus's ear--SAD!