Saturday, January 23, 2016

Being a Woman in Victorian England Was Kinda the Tits, FYI

Ok, so there was SOME stuff that wasn't so great. 

Like the fact that you were highly likely to be forced into an arranged marriage and die in childbirth, if you didn't perish from the common cold first. Or the fact that indoor plumbing was a sporadic luxury and you had to squeeze into a whale bone corset and a crinnalyn bustle every time you left the house. That is, IF you were lucky enough not to be an untouchable peasant, in which case you dressed in burlap and a head kerchief and became a pariah after having babies out of wedlock.

Other than that, it was the tits. And I know, because I just watched Far from the Madding Crowd, an adaptation of the Thomas Hardy novel, starring Carey Mulligan.

I was an English major in college mind you, but the truth--as anti-intellectual as it sounds--is that I don't remember jack shit about most of the boring ass books we read. No, my conviction that Victorian England was the place to be is all based on this movie.

Apparently, in Victorian England you could be a gorgeous, confident, independent, headstrong female farmer being simultaneously pursued by three smoking hot men. Your life would consist of 3 things: (1) herding sheep while riding horses; (2) juggling the affections of three desirable suitors; and (3) staring at the aforementioned three suitors while you stammered, cried, and acted indignant. Basically, it would be like starring on that reality show The Bachelorette, but IRL.

(That stands for "In Real Life." FYI).

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