Friday, December 18, 2015

The Reply-All Licensing Exam

It's been suggested that people should have to pass an exam before being permitted to use the "reply-all" function on their email. I couldn't agree more, so I wrote the exam.

REPLY-ALL LICENSING EXAM

1. What should be your MOST frequent response to ANY email?


(a) Reply
(b) Forward
(c) Delete
(d) Reply-All

2. Under which of the following scenarios is the use of reply-all MILDLY appropriate?

(a) To congratulate someone on their retirement.
(b) To second your appreciation for cupcakes.
(c) When every single person on the email thread literally and immediately needs to know the information contained in your reply.
(d) To send a flan emoji.

3. Which of the following should NEVER constitute the exclusive content of a reply-all email?

(a) A poo emoji
(b) Cute background "stationery"
(c) Any emoji
(d) "K."


4. You accidentally hit reply-all when you meant to just hit reply. What do you do?

(a) Reply all to apologize for replying to all.
(b) Pretend it never happened.
(c) Attempt to retract response.
(d) Both (b) and (c).

5.  Fill in the blank. Every time you hit reply-all _____

(a) An angel gets its wings.
(b) A puppy is still-born.
(c) Someone wishes you dead.
(d) The recipient's eyes roll back so far in their head they have to visit an eye doctor.

6. What does "BCC" stand for?

(a) Blind Carbon Copy.
(b) Bitchin' Car, Cats!
(c) Better Copy Cadrillions of People on This!
(d) None of the above.

7. You get a reply-all email and feel annoyed. What's the first thing you do?

(a) Hit reply all to make everyone stop replying all.
(b) Text all your friends to make fun of the reply-all sender.
(c) Delete it.
(d) Both (b) and (c).

8. What is the purpose of BCC?

(a) So that no one ever uses cc or reply-all.
(b) To secretly make fun of someone without their knowledge.
(c) To cover your ass.
(d) All of the above.

9. What is the MAXIMUM number of people to which you should reply-all?

(a) 5
(b) 500
(c) 10
(d) 10,000

10. What is the penalty and consequence for misuse of reply-all?

(a) Disabling of reply-all button.
(b) Your friends and colleagues hating you.
(c) A near-certain statistical likelihood that you will continue to misuse reply-all.
(d) Both (b) and (c).

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