Thursday, December 10, 2015

20 Reasons That Show I've Learned The Truth About Why You Shouldn’t Click on This Open Letter Blog Post: What Happened Next Will Shock You

Dear Reader,

1. It begins with a certain number of reasons for something.
2. It takes the form of an open letter.
3. It’s written by a stranger telling you why you should or shouldn't do something.
4. It's shameless clickbait.
5. It features a stock photograph of a cute baby, also clickbait.
6. It’s on Scarymommy or Huffpost Parents.
7. It’s trite and obvious.

8. The author has sour grapes that Huffpost Parents and Scarymommy never want to publish any of her blog posts.
9. It tells you what a stranger has learned, which will really not help you very much, I promise.
10. It's a waste of your time.
11. Did you hear me? I said it's a waste of your time. 
12. Get back to work.
13. No seriously, you're getting stupider by the minute reading this blog post.
14. It purports to reveal a profound truth, but see #7.
15. You will hate the author, no matter what she says.
16. The author is a hypocrite guilty of using all of these formats at times.
17. The author shamelessly wants you to disseminate this blog post to all your friends far and wide until Scarrymommy and Huffpost Parents see it and become very sad that they never realized how awesome O.H.M. really is.
18. Nothing interesting has happened so far despite the title of this blog post.
19. Also, you're not shocked.
20. The author just ran out of reasons but 20 seemed like a good number.

Love,

One Hot Mess

No comments:

Post a Comment