Friday, October 16, 2015

Your Dick Must Be Huge!

Oh hello Man Who is Driving a Hummer! May I just say, your dick must be HUGE? 

See, if your penis was small, there is no possible way you would own and/or drive such a big, masculine car. A Ford F-150 would suggest (if not prove) that your dick was of acceptable size. But this! I mean, this Hummer you are driving shows without a doubt that you are hung like a Bowhead whale.

Also, I notice you have a gun rack on the Hummer. Well! Now it’s apparent that your dick might actually be TOO big! Is there even such a thing? I’ve heard legends about it. Like in porno lore. But I’ve never before seen someone with the obvious sizable anaconda of a unit you must be packing in your pants, based solely on your ownership of firearms sufficient to necessitate a rack on which to keep and display them for all to see.


It is obvious as well that you go to the gym. You are very buff as we can observe from your tight T-shirt. There is no way your gigantic biceps and pecs do not also echo what is in your pants: The biggest dick ever recorded between the legs of a male human being.

So let me be the first to offer you my sincere and heartfelt congratulations. Even though you're not allowed to show it in public, The Entire World now knows that thing you so desperately need and want The Entire World to know: 

Your dick is HUGE.

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